It’s hard not to be affected by the anger of another. Whether it is real or perceived. I had a confrontation once with someone in my area of ministry and their anger was real. The situation was dealt with in what I hope was a loving and gracious way.
Yet, even though the situation was isolated and came and went, a lingering perception hovered over the relationship like a black cloud.
Every time I led worship and spotted this person in the crowd, the memories of our exchange came flooding back and my personal frustration and a general distaste for the person would rise within me. I would allow these issues to be a distraction to my worship of God.
Here are some practical steps that I have used to aid in the post- confrontation/anger healing process:
1. Be thankful- sincerely thank God for them. Ask God to bless them. Gratefulness opens up a pathway to love.
2. Appreciate them- this may take a little while, but recognizing their value and openly encouraging them in it is therapeutic for you.
3. Communicate- openly and clearly. Over communicate. I’ve heard it said that if you aren’t sick of saying it, you haven’t said it enough.
4. Give it time- it takes time and consistent practicing of the above suggestions for forgiveness to take root and for trust to be rebuilt.
There are plenty more suggestions for conflict resolution- I’ve just found that these four have aided me most.